I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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