Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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