the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
