Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
