Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
