If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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