Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
