We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
why is half of my head shaved?
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