Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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