So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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