I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
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so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
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I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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