you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
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