Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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