Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
