His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
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We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
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Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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