There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
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We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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