there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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