goodnight i made you a song goodbye
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
