Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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