At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
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The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
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And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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