just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
