you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
there was a trapeze. enough said
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
