And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
