then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
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A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
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Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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