i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
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Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
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I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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