hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
