That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
