I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
