I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
