Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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