Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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