Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
