there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
