i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
A+ Viking dick
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
