we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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