thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
