Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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