thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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