Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Im just a social blackout drinker.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
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It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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