grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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