We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
