so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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