He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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