you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
