So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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