how hairy? two words: wookie tits
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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