it's not cheating when I paid for it
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
