I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
