Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
