so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
