what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize