Please don't use social media to get back at me.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
