I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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