it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
