just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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