worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
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Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
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there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
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