porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I still have a little drunk in my system
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I was not drunk enough for that final.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
