her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize