i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
