that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
